that thing we love

hollywood has done it so many times. bollywood definitely has. the so-called malaywood has attempted as well.

one sweet serious girl, meet cocky guy, end up the best of friends, either one of them would fall for other people while both of them actually are crazy about each other deep inside, the one who's would be left behind finally realize that they're gonna make the biggest mistake in their life, last minute confession, wedding with wrong person is now cancelled. happy ending!

or a bit sad-mix-with happy one like in Kal Ho Na Ho.

i just watched mcDreamy . i guess Made of Honour was typical. almost like mirror image of my best friend's wedding. but the point is - how woman and girls dig for these repetitive feel-good hopes-inducing films like that.

and reluctantly, yours truly is guilty as one of them.hehe

there's something deep about being in love with the person who can also be your friend. but in life, that's hardly something that can be found. i do believe that many around me, or even around the world who is in love or in a marriage, could say that they are also a friend to their partners or spouse. and those who actually are in it, god knows they have found one of the finest give in humanity.hehe..ok that sounds too grand.:P

there's just something so serene, beautiful and big about it, that makes us girls keep on flocking to the cinemas or the tv again and again if they show the kind of movie which give them the chance to feel it, even it's not for real.

ah..maybe it's just a girl's thing.

as for me, watching is pretty much all that's left to it. what i've learnt in my short span of life time so far, even friends can't really be trusted if they are a man. being in love with your bestfriend may not be the best thing. because maybe your bestfriend is not the best kind of person with not the best kind of intention. or perhaps sometimes with time and tide they just change.

in the kind of world we live in now, u can't really tell who the unstrustworthies are..i guess..

an advise from a man himself, never trust a man blindly. not even with everything that you can see with your eyes. do your homework, ask around, the right questions to the right person, be observant, be careful. but i guess, you have to know your limit too.being a stalker is definitely not cool. but i guess, it's always just better to be safe than sorry.

what's your version?

aku bgn pagi ni duk teringat sumthing, i was eating my mom, bro, sis and cousin at Johnny's seremban 2 waiting for ourmidnite Kungfu Panda show mase cuti gawai,when suddenly the conversation went to how to pronounce this guy's name.

ingat tak mase skola, kite belajar sejarah. aku tau this very queer name pop up dalam buku sejarah dunia tingkatan 4.

it's the name of the bloody portugese guy who has something to do with penjajahan2 melaka.(sila bace versi nama2 ini dalam melayu totoks.perbualan versi dibawah telah diadaptasi semula utk simplify entry)

Aku : Alfonso de Al-ber-kerk kot.hahahaha

adik laki : cikgu aku dulu sebut alber-kurkie. hahaha

adik pempuan : alfonso de abukaki! hahahah

cousin : kawan adik aku lagi bes : abu-kwey-kwey.. hahahahahahhahaha

all: kwey-kwey????? MUAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAAH.

...


so what's your historic version? he he..

time heals

this time to KK i didnt buy anything.but i blew my sports allowance on my bowling team dinner for bringing back Gold medal.

hoooyeh!

they deserve it. money can cari, championship trophy may not always come to your hand.

..

little freaky asshol pissed me off by purposely parading his gatal antics while we're in KK. i actually thot i was being emotional or what nots, apparently some other people who were our mutual frieds were sakit mata as well.

asshole will always be asshole.

i wish i had kick his ass literally. i had my chance when we're on the bus on our last day in KK. if anep didn't stop me, i would have been able to see him tersembam on the aisle.

but demmit, i still have my dignity. how i wish i didnt have it that day. maybe i wud've punched his face. slapping the face is only for the sissies. muahahha

i do wish that he'll got hit by a car.or plane. or anything. maybe getting his head or fingers stuck somewhere while changing the valve or something.

i guess i do have to believe that he is a real asshole. and stop believing that there are good in people.

but then again, it's quite hard. hard to be someone who always think that there's a streak of silver lining hope, in the midst of grey dark sky.
...

this time around the borneo game brought a number of ex Adelaidean to the KK. we managed to steal a few hours on Monday night to catch up with each other. me, nizzie, enche Z, Ms S from lng, Ms W and enche Chuk from sabah.

i thought it would have been awkward. enche Z was my ex, enche Chuk was Ms S's ex. somehow this borneo game dinner has become the place where i gather my exes.haahaha

i think perhaps time does heal. it lets u ease things out.tuck away those bad things at the deepest corner of your mind. perhaps the secret is long strecth of time and not seeing each other face's do help. it's been 5 years for me since i last talked to him.

we all had a real good time melepak and talking and updating at Warisan Sq's starbucks. old friends are always close friends.

especially those you spent years abroad with. life's there was different. they're not just friends, they were the only family. and family, well, don't we love to hate our families sometimes.

time flies. and things went ok. so let time flies again, and i know things will be okay.

catching up

it was always a wonderful time to spend hours with old friends.

it was never boring to go out with zuren n naz. n definitely with this two, mesti involved great eat out time.hehe.

this time zuren brought us to kokopelly somewhere in PJ.

it was a nice little place with yummy food. too bad my tummy gave way. maybe because i was getting my tonsil trouble. bummer bummer. but i wallop as much as i could.hehehee..

i would recommend the tomato soup. and the kuew teow was superbly yum yum. and so is the spaghetti aglio olio..

oh sedappnye.. drool drool.

anyway catching up was fun. and it resurface the old NZ plan. hehe..how can i lupe that.hehe.. hopefully the trip will materialize next year ..hehe

i'm glad to think that i still have friends outside the same working circle. and still keeping them around me.. wonderful. i thank them for the precious friendship :)

tinggi melangit

selari dgn kenaikan harga minyak, temperature badan aku pon naik skali. mcm siol je..

i guess my tonsil was boiled up due to having to answer many questions on this oil price. hehe...apparently many think working with oil company included the perks of having extra oil subsidy. my company is not that generous lah. well, i never complained about that. i always remember the words of wisdom of an old-timer who said we are merely overlooking the amanah of the people .

but i could never stop wondering, if we make more profits, meaning that we pay the gomen more and more billions per year via tax and all the things that need to be paid, where the hell those money go. secara simple logic nye la. i know the world doesn't work in simple manners.

but could it be misused by people who like to misuse things. siapa? ntah.. sapa yg terasa? sila lah rasa sendiri

the oil price hike is bad. bad for many people i know, bad for me. 40% increase. i used to only fill full tank with 54 bucks. that was wayyy back when i first got my car. then the price climbed up a step or two, which i didn't really feel diff as my digital oil gauge only show that now with the same amount of rm i only get slightly lower at 3/4 of the full tank. then i decided, maybe ll just fill up with rm50 per week, which i managed on well till now. and based on my simple calculations, i would now need around rm75 to get what i get for rm50.

bummer.

buat aku terasa mcm nak amik lesen motor and beli skuter beep beep. hopefully this price hike will changed my dad on his decision on banning me from taking the lesen motor. i could always divert my holiday funding to skuter or moto funding. maybe still have extra moolahs to pay for my regional holiday rather than european trip.

so pasni maybe u should watch out for me go merempit to office and bowling. me on skuter beep beep! hoyeh!

holiday updates

one thing for sure, i haven't stop eating. hahahahaha! there's always something about eating at home, even if it's not home cooking.

i slept great night sleeps.

i do absolutely nothing besides relaxing. i think the first 2 days here, i spent them on the dining table or the settie in front of the tv. tv tv tv.. besnyeee..

the remote is mineeeeeeee~~~! haha.. kegilaan kuasa yang amat. but hey, they got another tv in the living room. this one at the family area is always mine. hee.. sbb my room yg terasing is the nearest one to it.

and having the wifi at home now also is fun fun.hehe.. that's how i get to blog while watching tv now. superb superb.

and coming home seeing monkeys behind my ouse..well..it makes me feel like i'm living in a zoo. or jungle. my bro said they've been spotting not only the kera but also those noisy long-handed siamang and a few other animals, including a bird species which my dad said he had not seen it for almost 20 yrs.

great.. i think we have a hutan simpan behind our residence.hehe. but that's cool so long they wont be stealing my clothes and not knocking on my window at nights since my room is the nearest room to the backyard.

my kits have grown biggggggggg!!! .. n they're fun to play with.

other new things?..hmm. lemme see..im enjoying my holiday with my new hair, which makes me feel soo perasanly lawa.haha. i spent time buffing my nails. and when im bored i buffed my mama's nails.hehe. so takde kerje.. hha. but i think it's nice pampering myself.heh..

i feel good, maybe ill cook dinner tonite!

it's REBOOT Time!

almost half of the year has gone by.

i aged..awwwwwwwww~..hahaha

i'm typing away at Kuching Starbucks waiting for my afternoon flight back. i know it's ridiculous to choose to bear the long transit hours, but for me my focus was about not having to get up so early.hehe.. 630 flight is tooo torturing for me.heheh.. sleeping hours are precioussssss ok~

i am going homee!!! HOYEH!

a week off. it's nice. home is now my refuge.

i am thinking of taking the time to rethink of my life. and rebooting my system.

i have been too stressed too pissed off about work lately. a bit too much even. but i guess having quite a routine exercise and sports sessions have helped to at least cope just enough.

so ..what's good & new in my first half of 2008?

i think i am feeling much fitter. my right arm's muscle are biggg..haha.. ok..tak relevant, but because i go bowling routinely and as now i am picking up badminton as well, so it's well worked out. (tp cam sebelah tangan jek..hahahahaha)

i enjoy badminton. sebab i can go back drenching in sweats and tired!

i have many and moreee compliments from many people saying that i look slimmer than in the past. (the secret is dress up properly..hehe.. i never lose weight actually! ha ha ha.then again, could be the exercises punye kesan..ehehe)

i made new friends from SHELL from my KRP sports trip to KK with them. i've made a few new badminton friends too.

i met new people for work. HSE and DD people. and local Mirians through my LA21 activities.

so far i had no major crack-up session yet. i think in general, i only get angry at a lower intensity. and usually i bounced back up quite fast, which is good. :)

i have for the first time able to save up money without the direct deduction from my salary!.now i have enough money to go travelling~~ hoyeh!. of tak jd travel it'll be my savings. which makes me feel goooodd~

i hang out more with friends. enjoyed my time out without feeling angry. most of the time, the complaining will drift into some ridiculous laughing time out. i have great fun friends who know how to have fun.surrounding people with nice fun friends are goood! thanks gurlss!! u know who u are( sesapa yg nak perasan mereke dlm list diatas dibenarkan..hahah)


and the Not so Good Thing so far...

i always feel sad. maybe the side effect of trying to be less angry.

i always feel troubled whenever stupid idiot men came mengacau. it troubled me for few days after the event. lame plak effectnye..cis

i am still not really over my ex. maybe i am still pissed off. maybe i still sayang. maybe im still in denial.

i screwed on a few personal thing. which must not be repeated.

i am feeling more and more negative the longer i stay in Miri without going back. it seems like 2 months is my max limit of working without a break.

i have more frequent time-out sessions from work (read : mengular) in order keep myself sane to continue working the next day, and to prevent me to actually go and strangle people.

i am extra demotivated about work.


So... what am i gonna do about it?..hmm

first i guess i am taking this well deserve break at home. and i am going to enjoy myself!!! and i want to meet some old friends and do some funny ridiculous enjoyable things..

i am going to relax.. have time out at home and not to think about work or anything that has any connection to office.. even the borneo game.lantak kau lerr weh..

i am going to catch up on my sleep..hihiihh.. come on, home is the only place i can sleep soundly.

i hope my family will organize a picnic or memancing trip. usually there's one organized by auntie and uncle.

i want to buy a new book and finish it during this cuti.

i want to watch Hancock! with my siblings! ok if that's not out yet...any movie will do.

i want to add and kumpul as much positive vibes as possible. utk bekalan balik Miri. hehehahhaa..

i plan to take things more easily. about work and life.

maybe i should just take the issue of gatal married man more easily also. just ensure it doesn't go anywhere. but layan je la if they want to talk. but must always switch off brain before talking so kasi numb tak rase hape2,,hahahaa..

i want to jahit new langsir for my miri room!

beli new bedsheet!

ok..better stop here first. mcm tamak je list aku nih..hehe. and i better catch my flight. bye~


Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai! Selamat aRi Gawai to all my Swakian friends who are celebrating it.
mwahs to all!

2008 is not my year.

that's fine with me. i know i will always find ways to make myself happy.

at least i'll try my best to.

*****************


i still miss him. in one way or another.maybe more like i still think about him.

i thought i'm gonna be ok.in a way i am ok. but in some other i'm not.

talking to him again is proven one of the wrong decisions i made. maybe i thought i am ok. it felt ok.

perhaps on the surface ya, but what's stirring an unconcious subliminal mind - who knows?

i know it troubled me.


********************


the funny management in my office didn't want to consider my 4 pages appeal. i think they're just too lazy to bring up the matter.or fight for it. it's just not something my office management is good at.

they're good at saying yes GM and kiss his ass. or making some lame comments to show their undivided devoted love for him.

apparently the most stupid reason they can give is i am not visible. oh..i wonder wtf i have been doing in the BN 1 meeting room all these while?

maybe i should wear low neck and touch my boobs n butts when i give them presentation again.

or maybe i shud talk dirty and tergedik2 whenever i organize any function and activity for the office.then i shall be notice

or better still, i make some kinky affair with one of the glemer highflyer or manager in the office.

what's the point of having the LBFS for the so called leadership qualities, if that and visibility still matter to apparaisal system.

if u make separate system, use it separately.

so now i am upholding my previous pledge . i am going to only do a 4-worthy kinda work, and ask for a 3 rating. i am very sure noone will have the guts to give me a 4 and say i did not perform. i have seen worse ppl who didnt do anything got a 3.ill pass he system doing this with flying colours for sure.

and i plan to do work as i please. come as i please..go usually after 430, but i go as i please in between.

tuesday, 930 am i am already gone to visit the never visited part of miri town. started with a shirt visit to Tamu to get some fruits fr nadiah, then we went to the places where they sell brg2 haji n whatnot.

an adventure on a wrking day? THAT makes me feel alive.

and mengular to the oil terminal building rapport with old pals there later on..until the office hour is over - priceless.

i guess, maybe i'd rather be visible to the working level, and well accepted by the mass, rather than impress those thumbsucking idiots in BN1.

something to live about. for the rest of the ppl, rather than the elits. ahh..now i remember, that's a fine principle worth to live with.